High School

This post really isn’t about Chile per se; it’s more of a reflective piece that gets a little more personal in content. It’s something that I have noticed about myself and have reflected on for a bit. No one ever comments on my blog, so I don’t really expect that to change, but with this particular blog I’m kind of curious what others think. Whether you agree or not or just think I’m super creepy, I’d like to know. You don’t have to comment on my actual blog, you can just send me a message via facebook, or obviously you can just not say anything at all. And just a warning, my thoughts are a little scattered.

One day I found myself getting on facebook a lot through out the day. I was kind of disgusted with myself with how much time I wasted “stalking” people on facebook. Everybody stalks each other, and I am not ashamed of the fact that I do this by any means, but this particular day I was checking out a lot of people’s pages that I went to high school with. More in particular, I was stalking people’s pages that I haven’t talked to or seen since graduation. I think that this is normal, if not, sorry for being a creeper. However, something that I noticed about myself is that while I’m looking at these people’s profiles I find myself going back to high school and being in the same mind set I was, and feeling the same feelings I had in high school about people and various situations. This was really frustrating to me because here I am, 23 years old, graduated from college, living in Chile, and yet I still find myself thinking about high school. Pretty cool of me, I know.

I really didn’t understand why I did this. Why do I have this unbelievable urge to see what people I went to high school, who I haven’t talked to in years, are up to? I want to know where they are living now, who has a boyfriend or girlfriend, who has a job, who’s gone out of the country and to where, who’s going on to more education after their undergrad., who still hangs out with other people from high school, and so much more. Something that also stood out to me is that I don’t really do this with people I met in college. Don’t get me wrong, I stalk my college friends too, but it’s different than with people from high school. A little side note that is kind of related...whenever I become friends with a new person (whether it was during college or after) I always wonder what this person was like in high school. I wonder if he/she went to my high school who would he/she have been friends with, would he/she been my friend? I had no idea why I did this, but I almost always wonder this about people I meet. I started to think about why I do all of this (the whole facebook thing and trying to place new friends into my high school experience) and this is what I came up with…

Over all, I had a really great high school experience. I loved my friends, dated, enjoyed school for the most part, played sports, and really liked my grade as a whole (don’t get me wrong though, I had some struggles along the way). High school is a really big transition period in a lot of people’s lives. For me, it’s where I started to feel comfortable with being myself and who I was as a person. You go through different groups of friends until senior year where you figure out who your true friends are, where you fit in, whether that be one specific group or multiple groups.

During high school there are so many firsts that you experience. It’s the first time you get to drive, it’s the first time you get a taste of small freedom (before going off to college), it’s the first time you go to a dance with a date, the first time you go on a date with a boy or girl where your parents don’t have to drive and pick you up, the first time you actually watch a high school football game, the first time you fall in love, the first time you get your heart broken (always the worst one), prom, the first time you drink, the first time an adult may actually listen to your opinion and applaud you for your thoughts, etc. Of course there are some firsts that others may have experienced, but these are some major ones for me. Because of these big milestones in a teenager’s life, I think that’s one of the reasons why we hold on to high school. A lot of memories we have from our childhood come from high school, so it’s a time we tend to not forget.

Along with these milestones most of us experience, the people I spent those four years with (6 years with a lot, since Marist starts at 7th grade) played a big part of shaping my personality and who I am today (not that I’m saying I haven’t learned a thing or two since graduating from high school). For me, I’m still really close to my best friends I had in high school. We could not talk for a year or so, but the next time we hang out we can pick up right where we left off. What is it about a high school friendship that seems to have a special bond you can’t really find anywhere else? At Marist, and high school in general, you grow up with these people. Who you were in 7th (or 9th grade) was not the same person you were once you were a senior. People can change drastically during those years. It was always really interesting to me to see how people changed (for better or for worse). I also thought it was really interesting to see who was able to climb up that wonderful social ladder during high school. The girl who was super religious and judgmental about drinking in 9th grade, will end up being the sloppy drunk senior year. The guy who doesn’t really have that many friends in 7th and 8th grade suddenly becomes really popular in high school because he plays football and is good at it. Guys suddenly become popular senior year because they “suddenly” become hot over the summer (when they actually look the same, but the right girls just started to notice them).

Because our grade was fairly small, you knew everyone and everything about each person (on a superficial level), so everyone had some sort of a reputation, whatever that may have been. I would say that that final reputation you had senior year is the one that sticks with others. If you were a weirdo, you’ll always be a weirdo, if you were a backstabbing gossiper, you’ll always be a backstabbing gossiper, if you were an a-hole, you’ll always be an a-hole…you get the point. These reputations stick in people’s minds because it’s the last impression you get of the majority of the people you graduate with because, for the most part, you don’t really talk to most of them after graduation. Most people have an idea of what their reputation was, but of course there are always those people who are delusional about how people perceive them or those people who couldn’t care less (which I think is the way to go). I’m a little curious to see what others thought about me, but in hindsight it doesn’t really matter.

We spent 7 hours or more together 5 times a week for 4 or 6 years, that is a major chunk of your life spent with the same people. We actually spent more time together when you include sports, plays, band practices, retreats, other school activities, the weekends, and whatever else. Every person I was friends with in high school, every guy I dated (apparently a lot…I got called out on this fact, rightfully so, during a senior retreat ha…I have this problem where I pretty much am almost always dating someone, eh no one is perfect), the people I didn’t get the chance to get to know but still really respected (one girl I really regret not getting to know was quiet, the most artistically gifted person I have known, and was pretty funny too - she wore a pretty hilarious Halloween costume senior year), every person I interacted with during those years played a big or small part in shaping who I am today.

After saying all of that, high school is also the time when you start to lose your innocence and are slowly becoming less naive to the world you live in. However, Marist in no way represents the real world (it’s a private, Catholic school, that is dominantly White…in Atlanta), but I started to learn some pretty good life lessons while in high school (granted I learned a lot more once going to college, but high school was a good starting point). I began to learn not to care what other people thought of me (something that can always improve), I began to learn how to feel comfortable being myself, I learned what type of people I want to be surrounded by and who I want to be friends with, I learned that being in love doesn’t last forever (hopefully you find that one person that it will last forever with), I learned that you don’t have to be friends with just one group of friends, that it is actually possible to be good friends with a wide variety of people, I learned that time really does heal pain, and other various things. A lot of these things I began learning in high school, I took with me to college and continued to learn, am still learning. I think essentially, I am the same person I was in high school. However, today I think I am more mature, more self-confident in myself, and have improved in various small ways. In other words, I’m growing up, and I can only hope that I’m making improvements in myself rather than taking steps backwards.

I think one reason why I want to see new friends of mine in my high school scene is because I want to see how far they have come as a person since then. I want to have seen how they have changed along the way. The friends I am still close to from high school have seen this process for me and I have seen it in them. It makes me so happy to see how some of my friends have grown into these amazing people. They have come so far since we were in 7th/9th grade. It’s been so great to be a part of that process. I wish I could see that in the new people in my life. I have met some truly amazing people since I’ve been to college and have been living in South America. I want to see how they became their awesome selves; I want to know the experiences they have had.

Because of all of this, because I was a part of the Marist class of 2007 and the fact that we all went through a lot those 6, 4, or less years together, I am curious where everyone is now with their lives. How they have changed (for better or for worse), if they have a job or not, what kind of jobs they have or are striving for, if they are still in school (med school, law school, dental school, and various other grad. programs), if anyone is married, engaged, has a kid (there actually are a few people who are married, engaged, or has a kid…ah we are growing up!), who has gained or lost weight, who’s still dating since high school (we have quite a few people still together from high school), who’s losing their hair, who doesn’t live in Atlanta anymore - who still does, how people have changed, who’s still the exact same, and so many more things. For these reasons, this is why I creep on facebook. I feel like it’s not that weird of a thing to do, but maybe admitting it in the long-winded way I just did is weird, but oh well. It can’t be that uncommon to be curious about these things, that’s what high school reunions are for. For the most part, I’m just curious how people have matured since graduation back in 2007. I hope the backstabbing gossipers have grown out of that phase, I hope the a-holes aren’t a-holes anymore, I hope those who hated high school because they didn’t feel accepted have found their place in life, and I hope people care less about what others think of them (as we all know this is a big aspect of high school). I know how the story began for most of them, now I’m just curious how the story continues. Whether we were friends or not, whether you liked me or not, I just genuinely hope that the people I went to high school with are happy, enjoying their lives, and that they are becoming people they are proud to be.

Sorry for getting a little cheesy towards the end there, but I really do feel that way, plus it’s good to have a little cheese in your life every now and then.

Until Next Time,
Liz