Right before the weekend I traveled to Mendoza, I found out that my cousin Wendy was submitted to the ICU in the hospital. She had had a seizure, which caused other complications. She had multiple doctors looking after her and was using oxygen to help her breathe. Over the next week and a half, she was steadily getting better. She was able to breathe on her own, her heart was getting stronger, and the doctors weren’t finding anything significant. However, while I was traveling in Northern Chile, she had had a major stroke. Unfortunately, this stroke had caused a lack of oxygen to her brain for a significant amount of time causing her to go brain dead. My cousin Wendy died on Thursday, March 29th.
The Monday after I came back from my weekend trip, I skyped with my mom and she gave me the update of Wendy’s health. I had read my cousin Alison’s email (about the stroke) Sunday night while up North, but because Wendy had been improving the last week and a half, I didn’t think she was in bad shape. However, after talking to my mom I realized things were not looking good (at that point no one knew if my cousin was brain dead or not). Tuesday night I skyped with my sister and she told me that they discovered that my cousin was brain dead, and that they decided to have her funeral that Friday.
That Tuesday was a really rough day for me. The only place I wanted to be was back home with my family. Two of my roommates, Ben and Eric, were traveling so they weren’t around. I was a little bummed about that because they are my family down here and they weren’t here. Thankfully, I was able to skype with Jason, and we talked until I fell asleep. He did a great job making me feel a little better. My sister looked up how much tickets would cost for me to come home and they were RIDICULOUSLY high. There was no way I would have been able to go home at that price. Luckily, we have a relative that works for Delta, and I was able to use her buddy pass. So I was put on the stand-by list for the flight Wednesday night. I was able to catch the flight! So I had an unexpected trip home.
The whole time I was on the plane and while I was at home, it felt like everything that was happening was a dream. It felt so strange to be home (being surrounded by English), but was so great at the same time. I loved seeing my family and two of my friends, I loved having my dog around and being woken up by him every morning with kisses and a wagging tail, I loved sleeping in my bed with my 6 pillows (compared to just the one that I have here), I loved eating at all of my favorite restaurants (I left for Santiago Sunday night and I only ate at home once…yeah it was amazing!), I loved being able to flush toilet paper down the toilet (rather than throwing it in a trashcan), I loved riding in a car and not fearing for my life, I loved watching my movies and having fast internet. It was a bittersweet trip home for sure.
The funeral was Friday morning. It was so great to see my whole family and be surrounded by people who knew Wendy. The service was beautiful, and it was so great to hear classic Wendy stories. Wendy’s favorite color was purple, so a lot of us in the family tried to wear purple in her memory. For those of you who do not know my cousin, she was 28 years old, had Spina Bifada, and an Arnold-Chiari malformation. She was paralyzed waist down and was mentally challenged. Her life expectancy was not for very long (it was expected that she wouldn’t make it pass 3 years old); however, due to amazing care Wendy received from her family while growing up, she beat a lot of odds. Wendy had a very special place in everyone’s hearts. Her nickname was Goose Worm, but my favorite thing to call her was Silly Goose. She loved watching little kids, loved listening to her iPod with her headphones on while singing out loud, had a silly, contagious laugh, when ever she wanted to talk to you she would always say, “Come Here,” and then hold your hand while ya’ll talked, she could drink a glass of wine in one sip as if it were water, we (the whole family) would always play UNO while we were at the beach and she would always win (despite my grandmother trying not to let her win ha), loved her big ol’float for when she would get in the pool at the beach house in Hilton Head, loved tickling you, hated doing arts and crafts, gave the best announcements/toasts (I’m so sad that I will never get to hear her toast to me at my wedding and never get to hear her say what she’s thankful for on Thanksgiving), she had an awesome bossy side to her that always made me smile, she always spoke her mind about anything and everything, and would shamelessly flirt with every single male in the room (this was one of my favorite things about Wendy. She always had a special place in her heart for two of her favorite men in her life, Kyle – her brother-in-law and my sister’s husband, Brian – her favorite cousin). Whenever we had family get-togethers (which was often because everyone lives in Atlanta), Wendy was always my favorite person to talk to. The conversations would always be silly. I loved seeing her Christmas morning and seeing her wear the presents she had gotten and having her tell me what else she had gotten. I loved all her outfits, always having lots of purple in them. Her loyalty to her family was unbelievable. The way she talked about her two sisters and her dad always made me so happy because they were always sweet comments like “I love my dad, he’s the best dad in the whole world,” or “I have the greatest sisters in the whole world.” She would say that about her cousins and grandma as well, and she meant it for every person she said it about. It’s indescribable the sadness I feel for losing her. I’m going to miss everything about her. I wish she could be around for my future husband to get to know, I wish I had more pictures with her, I wish I had known that last summer was going to be last family picture I would have gotten to be in with her, I wish I could have visited her one last time in the hospital, I wish I could have one last UNO game with her.
Wendy taught me so much about life. She taught me that just because a person is physically and/or mentally different from you doesn’t mean they are not an incredible person. She taught me a different kind of patience and how to appreciate the small things in life.
I feel so thankful that I was able to go home for the funeral. I definitely think that that helped with the healing process. At home, I was very sad about Wendy, but being surrounded by my family really eased the pain. When I returned to Santiago, I was hit with a new wave of sadness that was pretty constant and wouldn’t go away. After a few days of really stressful work, I started to feel like my normal self again. Every now and then I suddenly get hit with the sadness of missing my cousin and realizing that I won’t get to see her again. I’m always going to miss Wendy, and family gatherings will never be the same without her there, but I feel so fortunate to have had someone like Wendy in my life. Wendy was an organ donor, and with her death she saved/changed the lives of 9 people. She was an incredible person, and I am a better person today because of her.
Until Next Time,
Liz
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